Sunny Side Up
by blackflame28
Summary: Dawn has returned to Stoneybrook, much to everyone's surprise. She reflects on the reasons why. oneshot


Ceiling. White. Flat. Sunlight shadows. Sunlight. Sunny. California. Stoneybrook. No where. Meetings being called to order. Friends. Friends forever. Fights. Anger. Step sisters. Sadness. Leaving. California. Maggie. Amalia. Ducky. Sunny. Sunny. Sunny.

No matter how much Dawn tried to clear her mind it was always brought back to Sunny. Her best friend. The only true friend she could count on. The reason why she moved back to live with her father. The reason why she was now back in Stoneybrook, staring at the ceiling of a home she didn't recall. Her home had burnt down in a terrible fire. It was like a sign, Dawn reflected, that her whole life would change in the coming years. 

Some changes she could handle, like high school or high school boys. Those were easy and even fun. High school parties were also a huge change from the silly sleepovers she used to have with the Baby- Sitters Club. These parties were about looking good and getting a guy. They were about hooking up. There weren't able discussing baby-sitting tips, giggling over boys or pizza toasts. Her friends were a huge change from the members of the Baby- Sitters Club. California was completely different from her life in Stoneybrook. In Stoneybrook, she felt like she would be a child forever, now she was able to grow up.

There were other changes she wasn't expecting. Maggie relapsed into her eating disorder to the point she was hospitalized. At that point, all her friends changed. Amalia was the only who stuck by with Maggie and helped her through it. It wasn't that Ducky and Dawn didn't want to but Sunny was going down her own self destructive path and they ended up siding with her. After her mother's death, she seemed to clean herself up, stop running away, stop the massive amount of drinking and was actually dealing with life. After Maggie was hospitalized Sunny snapped back. As if she wasn't able to deal with the death of someone else close to her. She partied hardcore, drank, skipped classes and did drugs. 

Dawn wanted to help Sunny so she promised her to stand by her. Ducky was torn between his friendships. Sunny had vowed never to speak with Maggie again. She had said that if Maggie was stupid enough to fall into that illness again that she might as well just die. Ducky didn't agree and they fought about Maggie constantly. Sunny almost seemed to resent that Ducky had a mind of his own and was fighting her on this. Dawn didn't neccessarily agree but didn't want to abandon her best friend. Besides, selfishly, Dawn had more fun hanging out with Sunny, getting trashed and hooking up with guys then sitting at the hospital, wondering if Maggie would survive another heart attack.

Dawn blinked, her world turning completely dark so fast her mind didn't even register the difference. She could hear her family in the kitchen. Her stepfather, Richard making some huge breakfast, her mother, Sharon, running around, trying to find something required for work and Marry Anne, her one time best friend and now stepsister, was chatting away about something about school. Dawn closed her eyes then immediately opened them. She hadn't slept at all the night before. She couldn't remember when she had a full nights sleep. Yes she could. In California. California. Sunny. Sunny.

Dawn wondered if she would be ever able to close her eyes and not see Sunny's blank stare. She wondered if she would ever be able to be free of Sunny's eyes. Sunny died. Funny. Maggie was well on her way to recovery. She was currently attending a fancy boarding school, away from the pressures of school life and home life. Sunny was the one who died. Dawn was there to witness it all. She wasn't even suppose to be there. Sunny and Dawn had a huge fight a couple weeks prior. They weren't even speaking. Sunny had slept with Ducky. She used and abused him as she did a million guys prior. Normally Dawn didn't care. Somewhere down the road Dawn had begun doing the same thing. Sex was fun. It made her feel good. It made life easier. But no one could do that to Ducky. Ducky was different. Ducky was special. You couldn't just hurt Ducky and get away with it. Sunny didn't seem to agree. Ducky was just another guy.

Then Amalia threw a big party. Her parents had gone away on some romantic retreat and her sister was away at college. Dawn knew the party was in honour of Maggie's recovery. Amalia had begged Dawn to come and to ignore Sunny. Sunny drank a lot that evening. Too much. That wasn't unusual. Dawn drank a fair bit too. She was definitely tipsy that night. It didn't matter to Dawn. It felt good.

Dawn had walked in on Sunny snorting a line of crack. She rolled her eyes when she saw Dawn. She considered turning away from Sunny but something stopped her. Within moments, she was screaming for someone to call 911 and was cradling Sunny in her arms. Sunny died. Dead. It wasn't until it was too late when Dawn's screams were heard. There was nothing that could be done. Nothing. Nothing at all.

Dawn forced herself to get up. Soon her parents would be at her door, knocking, telling her that she would be late for school. As if she cared about school. Without Sunny, nothing seemed to matter. All the things she did to make herself feel good only made her feel empty. Dawn was sent back to Stoneybrook in hopes that the change of scenery would change how Dawn was acting. That she wouldn't be so sluggish, that she would be "happy" again, that she wouldn't disappear during the night and come home completely wasted, that she would stop cutting herself. Not that anyone knew about the lasst one. That one was new. It seemed like seeing the little lines of red was the only thing that made Dawn feel somewhat whole again. No one knew. No one could knew.

Dawn forced herself downstairs, to her family. Mary Anne sat at the kitchen counter eating the last piece of bacon. Everything has changed. Everything. No longer were the girls of the BSC were innocent teenagers. They all grew up. They all had problems. Dawn left the house, pulling the hood of her black hood over her head, thinking that everything changed with Sunny.


End file.
